heaven and hell at once

Have you ever heard of River City? No, it’s not Jacksonville, Florida…even though that is how it’s fondly known.  No, it’s not Pittsburgh; even though three rivers do meet in that Steely town. No, not even San Antonio with it’s glorious Riverwalk, this is River City….

It’s a ‘place’ that a military mom–like me, dad or wife or child NEVER wants to hear about; much less visit.

“River City” is the term the military uses when there’s been a death amongst the ranks.  River City is  called Countrywide (Iraq)  when a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine sacrifices his or her life in service of this Nation.  ALL communications are shut down until family members are notified. It’s a good policy to allow the military, humbly, to tell the hero’s family the fate of their loved one.

This Christmas around 1:00 am, my ‘little boy’ who stands 6′3″ and proudly serves this great Nation and of whom I am most proud; called me.  I woke from a pretty deep sleep and when I realized the time I was a little stunned and worried.  His voice sounded ok but it was just odd for him to call at that hour.  He’s been in Iraq for a few months now and pretty much has the time difference figured out and schedules his calls around it–for the most part……so, this time worried me.  He was speaking rather quickly and by the time I came around enough to get in the conversation, I started to understand that he was explaining to me that he wanted to call me on Christmas but he had to do it quick because there was a “River City” coming within minutes and he wanted to get it in before it was officially called.  Wow, that was heavy.  I spent the next few minutes telling him how much I loved him and wished him a Merry, Merry Christmas.  I even woke his middle brother who is 12 up at that hour and let him talk to him for a minute, too.  We said our I love you’s, I miss you’s and our untils (that’s what we call them).  When I hung up, I wept and wept.  I wept for my son, so far away and alone on this Christmas.  I wept for myself and my other sons and my mom because we all miss him so much.  I wept with pride knowing how proud my dad would be of him following so closely in his footprints…..but most of my tears weren’t for Hunter or for our family.  

Mostly,  I wept for the family who would soon travel to River City.  Somewhere there was a mom like me….the gifts wrapped, the Christmas dinner set to go for the next day, excitement awaiting only a few hours away at sunrise and now–she would soon answer the door to a Military Officer and a Military Chaplain who would give her news that would completely and utterly destroy and devastate her to her very core!  Perhaps a young wife with an infant tucked away awaiting his or her first Christmas–who would open her door to find the same pair of officials that would tell her the news…her husband gave his life and he would never be there for her  any infant’s Christmas times…..!  I wept, how could they endure?  Why did they have to endure?  Why, how, what can be of a tragedy like this?  I spent some time collecting my thoughts and trying to regain my composure.  I also spent some time being VERY grateful that I had heard from my own son and that I wasn’t the mom opening the door to the officials bearing that news—I know that I am not of the character of people that could ever handle that!  Never could I accept that my pride and joy–my very first born, the love of my life and my hero would never return to us who love and adore him; so I thanked God for sparing me that fate.  I then turned to pray and think of that family that was enduring now what I know I never, ever could.  I had no answers for why so I just googled mindlessly–searching for what–I didn’t know.  I found the video on Youtube and I thought that if there was anything to say to this family–this mom who could be me or the wife with the infant who could have been me twenty years ago–that this was the best I could ever hope to offer them.  So to the family who travelled to River City on December 25th, 2008–Please accept this video as my gift of honor and respect to you and please find in this video the only message that I know that can be of any comfort to you at this time of unexplainable grief.  God Bless and keep you.

And to my son…..the flag waves for you from the front porch everyday and the yellow ribbons are everywhere until I can get up on my tippy toes and hug you again.

Mama loves…… 

December 7, 1941–Pearl Harbor Day.  Commonly referred to as the day that will live forever in infamy.  I agree completely with that description but today, over 60 years later…for a different reason.

I had the great pleasure of living on Pearl Harbor in the late ’80’s and early ’90’s.  I visited the Arizona Memorial and frequently would see the bullet holes left from that day at various sites around the island.  I wasn’t a history scholar (a scholar of any kind for that matter??!! LOL) but I knew what that war was about.  We were attacked by a foreign enemy who was attacking us and other countries in somewhat of a frenzy.  We declared war, fought back and kicked butt.

That’s what makes Pearl Harbor and December 7 infamous to me.  It was the last time this country engaged in a war for a clear and precise reason with a crystal clear enemy and an undeniable victory.

Since then our wars have been ‘conflicts’ and our victories have been anything but….victories.  Sad, but true.

The brave men and women that lost their lives that day, all 2390 of them….their deaths were avenged and the loss of their lives, while more than tragic–lead this nation into a war that it emerged clearly as a World Class Superpower from…!  Our economy was strong, our morale was high and the respect for this nation was palpable anywhere in the world!

What about now?  Our death toll stands at 4,523.  Are we sure we attacked this country for clear and precise reasons?  Are we kicking butt?  I am sure you all can answer that for yourselves….and as the mother of a United States Soldier deployed in Iraq, I can answer it with far more conviction than you’re interested in hearing.

If you feel like me, I would much rather be infamous for kicking butt and defending the constitution than the fiasco we are on the worldwide stage with right now.  It’s time to do your civil duty, educate yourselves on foreign and domestic affairs and do your part to ensure our elected leaders restore our country to what she was as a result of December 7, 1941……infamous for kicking butt!