heaven and hell at once

…………..this blog is serving it’s purpose.  I pulled a very long day today and came home very tired.  Had a brief chat via text with my son and we shared our confusion over how this whole thing feels….deep ‘mom/son’ stuff but you guys understand, I hope.  I cried a lot and I have learned to do it when he doesn’t know about it because I don’t want to burden him with worrying about me when he faces such a task as this…..

And then, I log on to this blog and I have a comment waiting for me on my most recent post.  Not just any well meaning comment, because they all are…..but a comment from a VETERAN!!  I appreciate ALL my comments and all my support from everyone who stops here for a moment or two…..but when it comes from someone who has served our country and to whom I have to thank for my own freedoms and rights today….that really was uplifting!!  And again, today was another one of those “really need it days.” 

I guess I am starting to realize there are going to be mostly “really need it days” until my son’s feet are firmly and safely back in this GREAT country we live in and even more so when I can wrap my arms around my baby boy’s neck (of course, reaching up to do it) and tell him how proud his mama is!! Not to mention over the moon to have him home!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please join me in thanking the Veteran who stopped by today for turning my day around with his words……..and please keep them coming everyone….it makes all the difference and means soooooooooooooooo much to me.

God Bless the USA!

So today, I am waiting in the drive thru….and I hear this lady yelling at me!  I am thinking hmmmm, I don’t think I cut her off or drove erratically…LOL…so I push the button and the windows go down and I stick my head out hesitantly and look her direction.  She got this genuinely kind look on her face and said, “just wanted to thank you for your sacrifice and your son’s service.”  Oh boy, that set off a crying fit.  I politely thanked her and then left the fast food lane without my order.  She had seen my “My son serves so we can be free” sticker.  I was so grateful for her kind comment but yet it just really touched a nerve that’s so close to the surface anyway right now.  I thought of my son and his tall lean stature and his ever deepening voice and his bright gorgeous blue eyes and his easy way and then reality slapped me hard–he’s about to face insurgents and IED’s and hostile people who don’t understand or welcome his mission and view our entire nation as their enemy.  That’s why this blog is called heaven and hell at once……because I am so proud and so blessed to be his mom but I am also very anxious and it just troubles me beyond description that I can’t be there to be sure he’s getting enough to eat and enough rest (which I am certain he won’t be) and I won’t be there to watch out for him or make sure he has a clean uniform like I used to in ROTC–I know that borderlines on silly to some but it’s my emotions and most of the time in this case, my emotions make no sense.  I guess that’s pretty much what I am blogging for, is to try and use this as an outlet and perhaps keep a bit of sanity.  Of course, hoping to get words from you all to keep my perspective as healthy as I can. So to the lady who thanked me….thank YOU for being so kind….and to all of you who read here….thank YOU for not having me locked up in the cuckoo bin…..and he hasn’t even left the country yet!  I just love him more than words can say and I am very blessed that I am his mom…..remember I am here for your strength, support and courage to lean on…….so send some my way….it’s one of those ‘really need it’ days.

Wow, Sarah Palin!  I believe McCain choosing her as his running mate was a stroke of genius…..politically!  And on a personal note, reading an interview with her yesterday gave me personal encouragement as well.  Her eldest son, Track, is in the United States Army just as Hunter is.  Her son will also be deploying to Iraq this fall.  Hunter leaves in about 2 1/2 weeks.  When asked how she felt about it, she answered that her son was looking forward to it and he was well trained for this deployment.  She then mentioned that of course, as a parent she was concerned.   That’s a very good way to look at this whole thing.  I am confident Hunter is trained and is very good at what he does and I, also, know that he is very much looking forward to this ‘adventure’ and opportunity to serve our great nation.  And yes, as a mother I worry, of course!  It just gives me a bit of encouragement to see how strong another—very important—mother feels about her son taking on the very same task as mine!  So, I am just going to concentrate and choose to think positive and most importantly, trust and know that God is in control.  As always, thanks for being there for me and lending a listening ear!! As I mentioned in my first post, you guys are my strength!!

Ok, so I am going to deviate a bit.  Yes, this is to chronicle my son’s brave voluntary deployment to Iraq to protect our freedom……but I just want to address the Casey/Caylee Anthony case in Orlando!

Why on earth would any mother kill her on flesh and blood?  And the prosecutors seem to elude that it was an accident but that still doesn’t explain it to me.  I have three boys and if anything happened to them-even accidentally-the first thing I would do would be to summon help!!  And then to appear on national TV wearing a t-shirt with her murdered daughter’s picture on it!?  What is this country coming to?

I said I was going to deviate but you know, now that I think of it….it’s not deviating at all!!  My son is putting his life on the line for our freedom—EVERYONE’S freedom!!  Yes, even Casey Anthony….It just seems a moral failure that our society let’s someone use this freedom that is fought and paid for with our son’s and daughter’s lives for this sickening act!  Maybe Thailand’s caning or public punishments aren’t as twisted as we once thought.  Maybe seeing MONSTERS receive thier consequences in a brutal fashion would encourage more citizens to use thier hard fought and won freedoms to make this world a better place.  All this is just again, a tool for my sanity–reading stuff on behaviours like this can make me go all crazy white girl on ya!! LOL  So here’s my release and attempt to grasp this without accepting it!!!!!

Well, back at the blogging thingymabob.  I guess I should share a bit more info.  My eldest, the United States Soldier, was born when I was only twenty.  Yes, yes, I know….a baby having a baby!  But in my case, the baby probably saved my life.  God’s funny about that….he seems to know what he is doing long before we do!  What’s up with that, hunh?  Well, anywho….his name is Hunter and he is twenty.  He is a Specialist (E-4) and has just made his second year mark.  The first two years went by slowly for him, I think.  He joined wanting action–as are all twenty year olds, he thinks he is immortal.  He spent boot camp and MP school at Ft Leonard Wood, Missouri.   Being raised as a beach kid most of his life, that was culture shock–and he was there through the dead of winter.  His first ‘real’ duty station was Ft Leavenworth, Kansas.  Again, culture shock……the only excitement the kid got there was welcoming a ‘notorious federal prisoner’–Michael Vick!!  So, as his mom, the lack of excitement THRILLED me!!! Not so, for the twenty year old with a sense of adventure and immortality!!  He VOLUNTEERS to go to Iraq with a brand new team the Army is trying out!!  Can you say, Gray Hair for Mom?  But again, have to respect him and support him in his decision….so that brings me here—blogging for my sanity!! and some moral support in all this!! Some girlfriends to listen to me when I need someone to listen to me….and some guy friends to help me keep it all in perspective like men always do!!  So join me on this journey….I’ll keep adding the details until you probably won’t want anymore…..My dad didn’t say I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle for nothing!!  And what’s funny, some of you may be too young to even remember a phonograph needle……!  So, enough for now but I will be back soon!  In the mean time, keep your eyes peeled for some random act of kindness you can do and DO IT!

“One of the foremost experts on politics in the Granite State thinks she has found the next critical constituency: military moms,” reports the Washington Post.

“The military mom — who has either a child or a husband who is serving — is disenchanted with the war. The question is: Will she shift allegiance to support a Democrat, or is she looking for an independent-minded Republican?”

Ok, so I found this quote and thought it would be a good foundation for my second rant on this here thingymabob they call a blog!  So, let’s get down to business…..Here’s my opinion and I don’t waiver from it even in the slightest…..We should have NEVER, EVER invaded Iraq!!  I don’t believe for a second that the weapons of mass destruction just evaporated and frankly, I would have rather my tax dollars be spent feeding the homeless under the bridge over near the ICW!! With that being said, I have to expound a bit…..this is not Utopia and we did indeed invade a country on false pretenses and under a President that had a personal axe to grind and family and business associates who stood in order to be of great financial gain from our invasion and continued occupation of Iraq!  So, since we are there…….we MUST finish the job we started when we went.  It would be a disgrace to the 4,000 or so American Hero lives that have been lost to just pick up and leave without finishing the job–so to speak!! It’s hard for me to write that because you see, if they were to pull out—just pull out–then perhaps my little boy (at 6′3″ he’s still my little boy!!) could stay home and not go ‘play in the sandbox’  It’s hard to write it but if I said anything else what kind of selfish imp would I be??!!  He was brave enough to sign on that dotted line and take that oath to protect and serve this country and I MUST support him in that decision no matter how personally agonizing that decision was.  With my individual support of him–partnered with my support of the effort being made there–then most nights, I can get a little sleep with a little less worry.  So, yes, military moms are a contingent to deal with on the political arena—we are strong–deployments and heartache have made us that way!!  Please join me and other military moms in supporting our TROOPS and thier cause!!  And if any of you see my little boy–the 6 ft 3 in United States Army Soldier–give him a hug!! Better yet, give him two–one from his mighty proud Mom. 

And last but certainly not least, GO OUT AND VOTE!! My son’s life is on the line for your privilege to do just that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I won’t go so far as to tell you who or how to vote but I think if you really absorb the above content you’ll know where this Army Mama’s vote is going!!!!!!!!

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon here in the deep and dirty and WET south!  Fay has been by a few times……I hope she keeps moving.  I’ll have to admit though, a distraction…of any kind….is welcome these days.

You see, I have three sons.  My eldest is 20 and is soooooo my hero…has been since about age 2.  My middle baby is almost 12 and truly is 12 going on 25.  The baby is only 3 but still makes it clear that he is a full fledged bona fide member of our little clan. 

 All that sounds pretty routine and mundane until I tell you that my 20 year old is in the United States Army and is leaving for Iraq in less than a month.  That’s why my title is what it is……Heaven and Hell at once.  You see, I am soooooo very proud which is why the reference to Heaven but I am also apprehensive and frightened and anxious and worried and frustrated and all those words that make you feel like you are living in hell sometimes.  So, I landed here….blogging.  Blogging for an outlet for my feelings, blogging for my sanity and most of all…..blogging for moral support.  One thing I have learned is that the majority of my fellow American citizens CARE about our troops, no matter what their opinion of the war is……!  And I have learned just how caring and supportive my fellow Americans can be….!  So, I figure if you join me here on my journey through the heavenly parts and the hellish parts as well, then I am not alone.  I already mentioned I am from the South and down here we say…….”There’s strength in numbers”—-I am looking for you guys to be my strength and to share the proud moments, too!  So from here on out, I am counting on you all because Vos es meus vires!!!